My most unexpected life jacket

If you are a regular reader here, you would probably know why I started this blog. If you aren’t, then welcome! I started this blog exactly 5 years ago to give my experiences of finding life jackets, which I believed were god sent answers to our difficult days and hoped that somewhere I could be the same too. Well, this post is going to be a bit different, as this one is dedicated to my best friend – Neha Munoth, one of my most unexpected, yet the most beautiful life jacket.

Neha and I met in the most unusual of circumstances, when both of us were going through one of the toughest phases of our lives, something I wouldn’t like to divulge into more. The basic connection that bonded us was our mere ability to actually hear the other person out. The basic sense of humanity is not going and doing grand gestures, but rather small ones for someone, just to uplift them when they are down. Something we never noticed was just being a patient listener to the other person in pain was the foundation of our bond becoming strong. Funnily, our phase was kind of similar so that helped, but regardless, we realised that the best way to get out of this rough phase was together. So, there began our journey for self-improvement and constantly do better for ourselves and grow together. What’s better than one person rowing a boat, two doing it, right? I never expected that in one of my roughest moments I would find such a beautiful and uncanny lifejacket. There are times we ponder on those moments of difficulties that brought us together, but then we chose not to dwell on it, as the circumstances don’t matter to us anymore, just the fact that we are there for each other every second.

Our eccentrics matched very well, from sharing the deepest philosophical talks, to sharing the next recipe of the latest lockdown snack, the next guy trouble, fashion faux pas, laughing hysterically or showing our most vulnerable sides, we went through it all. The best part of all this, I got to see a girl bloom into such a strong, self-possessed powerful woman, that it left me in awe. And sooner or later she became the little sister I never had. We don’t realise how people enter our lives and change it for the better, and that some encounters are just meant to happen. This lockdown was particularly tough for me, not used to such a solitary confinement, and it did affect me drastically. The one person who never left my side was Neha, and this was a huge thing for me, because even on the days I couldn’t see good in myself or couldn’t be kind to myself, she did always. When my mental health started to take a toll, the one thing that astonished me the most was how she said ‘we will get out of it’ and then proceeded to make a proper chart and routine to help me cope better. Some of our daily video calls would just end up being more of me crying and she would never say anything, but then I realised that even though I am miles away, she is still supporting me irrespective of the distance. And that really motivated me to get up and fight again. Sometimes, if we are lucky, we just end up finding someone who would see the best in us, even when we cant see it in ourselves, love us for all our flaws, and just stand by no matter what. They would make us feel worthy of the good things and not make us beg or ask for it, but just say ‘you deserve it, love.’

So this one is for my veere, my compadre, my best friend – as I even though I found her in those painful circumstances, I am glad I did. I remember one day texting her telling ‘I would love to get to know you individually and not defined by these circumstances’ and that’s when this voyage began. So thank you bro, if you are reading this, you have legit been the most patient yet most active human I have ever met. Thank you, for listening to the same thing for hours on repeat, for helping me stand on the days my feet couldn’t get up, for never really giving up and most importantly for helping me see the brighter days as well. Thank you for being exactly how you are, for letting me be exactly how I am, not letting me dull my shine and helping me polish it to just become better. And lastly, thank you for the small things – for the random ludo games, or the video calls where we just talk about the most random topic in the world, for sending me all those gazillion quotes and memes and random dogs and cat videos, for explaining me what a highlighter does on your face, and pretending to be those crazy characters uninhibitedly.

 It’s just, we never know how we can or how our actions can change someone’s life, and for that matter its always the best to be the kindest person in the room. A lot of times, we mistake goodness to be in the form of grand gestures, but it’s merely the small ones that count, the ones that make you feel that you matter. It’s the small gestures like the random calls, or the sudden ludo plans, or those patient ears to the ranting, that really make the bad days a lot bearable. As Andy Bernard from the Office once said – ‘I wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days before you actually left them’ It’s the happy moments, the once which are done, which we cherish rather than the ones we experience in the present. And isn’t that just sad? I mean how do we know that this ain’t the best, right now? Isn’t it better to cherish the people who are with us right now, than to wonder on what could have been? To appreciate the people who currently stand by you, instead of looking at the past and just remaining there. Memories are good, yes, but these present days are also going to be one someday, so why not just feel it as a live recording than rewinding it and cherishing it later.

If you have someone who has made your life a lot less shitty, and made you feel like you matter and that you are worth all the love you give around, then not only keep them close, but appreciate them time to time, fight for them and just never let them go? We don’t have the liberty to get unlimited life jackets in our lifetime, but the ones we get, its our duty to safeguard it. Appreciating people, showing gratitude is not really a “omg I cant be senti” thing. It’s letting people know, how much they matter to you and how you are happy and lucky to have them, and this does not only have to be a part of a annual birthday post. Let them know now. Remind them of why you guys are so close, of the happy days, remind them of all the good you see in them and for what you have stood together, remind them of their special eccentrics, of how they soothe your rough day, and remind them that they are not alone. People really underestimate the power of these words, as its not really the hardest thing to do in the planet, you would lose maybe 2 minutes of your schedule, but you will create a memory of a lifetime. You might reconnect with the people forgotten, you might just salvage a breaking friendship, you might just make someone’s day, week or even month. And its not hard. Appreciation and gratitude is not hard, efforts are good. Show them that you care, and you don’t know, you might just end up becoming a lifejacket for someone in need. 😊

PS: Neha please don’t cut your bangs on your own.