The Mirror
Have you ever looked at yourself closely in the mirror? No, I am not talking about the morning routine where you would sluggishly get up and greet yourself with angst because its a Monday morning. Nor am I talking about the other general reasons for which you would need to see your reflection. I am talking about observing closely, what you look like, how you are, those minute details on your face, the tired and worn eyes that may have been decorated with a facade of mascara but only you might have seen how they actually look, how they actually feel. Your introspection of your reflection in the mirror is nothing to do with vanity here I must add. Something a bit more deeper. Now while concentrating on this reflection, imagine it move. Not as a response, but as an individual, imagine your reflection move and stare back at you just in the same way you would look at someone else. No, I am not crazy nor am I dabbling in horror stories, trust me. Let your reflection stare at you as if it has dissociated from you, from your body and is looking at yourself as a third party perspective. What would this reflection now say?
The reason I typed this conundrum was not to confuse or startle you. Definitely not the reason. But just to provide a simple background to this introspection. Here, the reflection staring at you is nothing but you staring at yourself. My father many times told me to look into the mirror and introspect myself for who am I and what am I doing in order for me to gather motivation to steer my life into something worthwhile. It was until recently that I realized how important this might be.
When was the last time we looked at ourselves, knew ourselves, spoke to ourselves and met ourselves? Have we really treated ourselves with the same love we gave others? Have we honestly cared for ourselves enough, seek ourselves and most importantly respected ourselves. This note may not really cater to each one of you, but I write this as a constant reminder to me, that maybe when I am thinking about all this, I finally implement it too. And yeah, if you can resonate with whatever I write, hope it comes to any of your use too. Now when I say speak to ourselves, I am sure all of us have done it. From those tiny self assurances we have given ourselves to those imaginary arguments we have won, self talk is inevitable. When I write my blog, I don't really have a set pattern or format or even proper language to follow, because hey, nobody is targeting to become the next Hemingway. But rather, these are legit my thoughts, my feelings and my inner voice that is just being typed out haphazardly so that it can find a form, and this is not only my way of communicating to you, but also one of my ways of self communication.
Honestly, when someone asked me one day that when was the last time I paid a visit to myself, I was left in a state of shock, because the answer to that was probably never. If we could disassociate ourselves from our bodies and loved it, cherished it and cared for it like we do for others wouldn't we be happier. Imagine you love somebody. Every bit of your happiness comes from seeing them happy, seeing them satisfied and seeing them jolly. In order fulfill that, you, in your capacity do everything humanly possible to make them smile, because in the end that one gleam from them will change your current state too. Make you happier. Make you fulfilled. So you do this more, they are happy and so are you. Now let's tweak this a little. Change that person to you. So by putting yourself into this equation, now you do everything to make yourself happy, you listen to yourself, you do everything in your capacity to make yourself smile and when you gleam, you attain the state of happiness and fulfillment. Easy right? Only if things were so easy, we would not look at others for their approvals of our happiness.
I feel, majority of us, including me, still associate our happiness with external entities. Either material items or other people. We cant stay still with ourselves, talk to ourselves or even actually know ourselves. What makes us happy and what doesn't? Obviously if I had to ask any one of you, what makes you happy, you would already have a ready made answer at the tip of your tongue, but would that, really make you happy? Is that really good for you? Things that make you happy, isn't necessarily always the best for you and things that are best for you doesn't necessarily make you happy. Which brings us to self care, because things that are good for you and not necessarily your favourite, will care for you and later make you happy in ways you cant imagine.
When was the last time we praised ourselves? Aren't all of us going through a battle here? Aren't all of us fighting for something, going through our own war zones everyday? And yet we aren't kind to ourselves. Who sets these rules and benchmarks on what you can do, say, feel etc. When did we treat ourselves last? When did we feel accomplished just by crossing the road safely? Why do we associate happiness to big achievements and not find it in small things? Why cant one good, and I mean an extremely good lunch make our day? What is the benchmark for happiness which we set, unrealistically, just so that it becomes harder for us to be happy and then crib about being sad?
I know, I am asking way too many questions but wouldn't that reflection in the mirror be asking you the same. Why aren't you happy my friend? If you are, then what made you happy, and if you aren't, then what is stopping you?
To the person who is reading this, please be kind to yourself. All the situations that we face might not really be fair to us, but in the end, it shapes us for who we are. And though it might seem hard, but its those painful situations that give us our shape, give us our uniqueness and give us our strength. We don't need to associate ourselves to them, but when you go through your battles everyday, its your fight which is more commendable than your victory. Half the world would not have diligently spend their lives reading Harry Potter if Harry had killed Voldemort in the first book itself. It was his journey that made us love him, and I feel it should be our journey that should make us love and appreciate ourselves even more. Thus, to sum it all, remove the facade of mascara from your eyes, and smile looking at that reflection. That reflection has gone through a lot. Has tired eyes, has had a rough day and probably a rough upcoming week. It has taken it all, and is still standing there, like a rock, facing everything that comes its way, while balancing on thin ice, carrying responsibilities, making sure everyone else is happy before itself, caring for everyone, hiding its pain and still surviving on that tiny glimmer of hope. Look at it and feel proud about it, because honestly it is the best version of yourself till date.
The reason I typed this conundrum was not to confuse or startle you. Definitely not the reason. But just to provide a simple background to this introspection. Here, the reflection staring at you is nothing but you staring at yourself. My father many times told me to look into the mirror and introspect myself for who am I and what am I doing in order for me to gather motivation to steer my life into something worthwhile. It was until recently that I realized how important this might be.
When was the last time we looked at ourselves, knew ourselves, spoke to ourselves and met ourselves? Have we really treated ourselves with the same love we gave others? Have we honestly cared for ourselves enough, seek ourselves and most importantly respected ourselves. This note may not really cater to each one of you, but I write this as a constant reminder to me, that maybe when I am thinking about all this, I finally implement it too. And yeah, if you can resonate with whatever I write, hope it comes to any of your use too. Now when I say speak to ourselves, I am sure all of us have done it. From those tiny self assurances we have given ourselves to those imaginary arguments we have won, self talk is inevitable. When I write my blog, I don't really have a set pattern or format or even proper language to follow, because hey, nobody is targeting to become the next Hemingway. But rather, these are legit my thoughts, my feelings and my inner voice that is just being typed out haphazardly so that it can find a form, and this is not only my way of communicating to you, but also one of my ways of self communication.
Honestly, when someone asked me one day that when was the last time I paid a visit to myself, I was left in a state of shock, because the answer to that was probably never. If we could disassociate ourselves from our bodies and loved it, cherished it and cared for it like we do for others wouldn't we be happier. Imagine you love somebody. Every bit of your happiness comes from seeing them happy, seeing them satisfied and seeing them jolly. In order fulfill that, you, in your capacity do everything humanly possible to make them smile, because in the end that one gleam from them will change your current state too. Make you happier. Make you fulfilled. So you do this more, they are happy and so are you. Now let's tweak this a little. Change that person to you. So by putting yourself into this equation, now you do everything to make yourself happy, you listen to yourself, you do everything in your capacity to make yourself smile and when you gleam, you attain the state of happiness and fulfillment. Easy right? Only if things were so easy, we would not look at others for their approvals of our happiness.
I feel, majority of us, including me, still associate our happiness with external entities. Either material items or other people. We cant stay still with ourselves, talk to ourselves or even actually know ourselves. What makes us happy and what doesn't? Obviously if I had to ask any one of you, what makes you happy, you would already have a ready made answer at the tip of your tongue, but would that, really make you happy? Is that really good for you? Things that make you happy, isn't necessarily always the best for you and things that are best for you doesn't necessarily make you happy. Which brings us to self care, because things that are good for you and not necessarily your favourite, will care for you and later make you happy in ways you cant imagine.
When was the last time we praised ourselves? Aren't all of us going through a battle here? Aren't all of us fighting for something, going through our own war zones everyday? And yet we aren't kind to ourselves. Who sets these rules and benchmarks on what you can do, say, feel etc. When did we treat ourselves last? When did we feel accomplished just by crossing the road safely? Why do we associate happiness to big achievements and not find it in small things? Why cant one good, and I mean an extremely good lunch make our day? What is the benchmark for happiness which we set, unrealistically, just so that it becomes harder for us to be happy and then crib about being sad?
I know, I am asking way too many questions but wouldn't that reflection in the mirror be asking you the same. Why aren't you happy my friend? If you are, then what made you happy, and if you aren't, then what is stopping you?
To the person who is reading this, please be kind to yourself. All the situations that we face might not really be fair to us, but in the end, it shapes us for who we are. And though it might seem hard, but its those painful situations that give us our shape, give us our uniqueness and give us our strength. We don't need to associate ourselves to them, but when you go through your battles everyday, its your fight which is more commendable than your victory. Half the world would not have diligently spend their lives reading Harry Potter if Harry had killed Voldemort in the first book itself. It was his journey that made us love him, and I feel it should be our journey that should make us love and appreciate ourselves even more. Thus, to sum it all, remove the facade of mascara from your eyes, and smile looking at that reflection. That reflection has gone through a lot. Has tired eyes, has had a rough day and probably a rough upcoming week. It has taken it all, and is still standing there, like a rock, facing everything that comes its way, while balancing on thin ice, carrying responsibilities, making sure everyone else is happy before itself, caring for everyone, hiding its pain and still surviving on that tiny glimmer of hope. Look at it and feel proud about it, because honestly it is the best version of yourself till date.
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